"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Sonnet for Lovers One Shot Wednesday #32

Fortified love is a well-formed palace
lined with soft cushions of silk taffeta
without ingredients of fierce malice 
Passionate strength in love’s arboreta

Listening to songs of the Acheta
as we both drink red wine from a chalice
Fortified love is my well-formed palace
We’ve lined the interior with blue tapeta

With the pictures of beautiful gallus,
perched lazy in nature’s arboreta,
trace a background image of Pietà
Affection gives life to newfound auspice
Fortified love is a well-formed palace



Process notes:
Please keep in mind I hardly
ever write sonnets. I have, however,
promised myself for 2011 
to at least give them a try.
Tapeta: wallpaper
Gallus: common domestic birds
Acheta: common house and field crickets
Pietà: a picture or sculpture of the Virgin Mary
holding the dead body of Christ on her lap or in her arms.
Posted by flaubert at 6:21 PM

20 comments:

  1. dustusFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM

    A wonderful homage to a place in time and the feelings it invokes. Nice write, Pam. You add much local color to the piece very well.

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  2. Brian MillerFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    good night this frickin rocked...love the use of relatively obscure words, great flow...very nicely played.

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  3. signed...bkmFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    agreed with dustus and brian...I give you much credit for incorporating those words into this piece...plus you educated me in these words...word love to here it read aloud...bkm

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  4. Uma AnandaneFebruary 9, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    yea..agreed with all three above .I liked your rhyming :)

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    The latinate words give spice and musk to the love-digs you call a "fortified palace." Well formed indeed and compelling. The unfamiliarity of some of the words makes some of the spice a tad too strong. You might cut back on a few of them. But great job. -- Brendan

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  6. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Brendan, Thanks for the critique of this rondel.
    I don't write form poetry often, maybe 2-3 times a year. I am always flummoxed by the different factors involved, i.e. rhyming, meter and content.
    It took me 7 days to write this, where as, normally I will write a free-style in about 15-20
    minutes. Thanks for the help:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Adam, that is a much appreciated comment on something I have difficulty writing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    Brian, you are much too kind. Obscure words they are:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Barb, thanks, but, I feel like I lost control of the poem with these words. Well, there is always next time. In about 4-5 months :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Thanks Uma:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. hedgewitchFebruary 9, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    Late to get here, pam, but well worth the trip...some amazingly hard rhymes in that scheme, but you still managed to get a good flow going--it all comes off as very exotic around the core idea of a protected and defended/defending love. I kind of agree with Brendan that some are a stretch, yet I also don't know how you would have done it differently--having pulled every hair on my head almost out writing or trying to write a few sonnets, I think you did very well with your choices. Overall, a very good poem.

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  12. BubbaFebruary 9, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    You needn't write another sonnet, Pamela... this one is wonderful enough. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Joy Ann, I have such a problem trying to write sonnets. I started this one with quite difficult end words to rhyme with. But I am a bit stubborn and I wanted to see it through. I don't give up easily on anything in life.
    Your comment is much appreciated. I think I am missing a few hairs, too:)

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  14. flaubertFebruary 9, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Eric, what an incredibly nice thing to say:)

    ReplyDelete
  15. RJ ClarkenFebruary 10, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    You did an amazing job of putting all those images in one beautifully cohesive piece. For someone who says she doesn't write sonnets, let's just say, this one is well-formed and well-informed.

    ReplyDelete
  16. flaubertFebruary 10, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    RJ, that is a very nice thing to say, but I am
    so limited on my ability with sonnets. This took me 7 days to complete. I felt like I was doing a mathematical equation.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Shashidhar SharmaFebruary 10, 2011 at 10:54 PM

    Its beautiful and your try is perfect... thanks for adding the Process .. as it helped me a lot to understand the sonnet...
    thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html

    ReplyDelete
  18. flaubertFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    Shasi thanks. I knew I should put the
    definitions here. It is not common every
    day vocabulary.

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  19. KavitaFebruary 11, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Ooohh...what a beautiful and romantic piece, Pamela... the images your words create are simply fascinating...
    I don't know much about sonnets, but I sure know that poem ROCKED!! A lovely One Shot!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. flaubertFebruary 11, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    Kavita, and the truth be told, neither do I.
    I have been reading about sonnets and trying
    to practice writing them, but they are oh, so,
    difficult. Thanks for the nice comment.

    ReplyDelete

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