"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"Safety" we write poems #42-safe place

Sudden realization lifts
its distorted form like
equestrian warriors
mounted on disease,
carrying crosses
emblazoned with
their names
 
Dangerous …
knowing it’s not safe to
venture far from myself

Feels …
similar to stings from a
thousand angry hornets,
fleeing from their nest

Speculative …
I try to stay in tune,
wanting to believe people
are innately good

Reasoning …
cruelty is for weak minds,
you’ve polarized me
with your phrases

Escape …
taking in the scene,
paying close attention
 
I see through the exterior;
results aren’t pleasant
I don’t venture far from myself
I am safe here
Posted by flaubert at 11:09 AM

30 comments:

  1. Sherry Blue SkyFebruary 23, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    Oh, this is so good!!!!! Powerful, Pamela. "equestrian warriors mounted on disease".....wow! I so identify with the last two lines. Terrific writing!

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  2. MaryFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    It is good to feel safe within oneself. So many people don't feel safe anywhere, even there. I like your unique perspective.

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  3. flaubertFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Sherry, thanks. I found this prompt
    quite difficult. I certainly wasn't
    going to get all flowery with it.

    My safety in the end is with me.
    I have learned that over the years.

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  4. flaubertFebruary 23, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    I know Mary, many don't feel secure within
    themselves. I believe that is where the
    problems arise. Thanks.

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  5. Flying MonkeyFebruary 23, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    I absolutely love the ending: I don't venture far from myself. I am safe here.
    I relate to that a lot.

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  6. MarianvFebruary 23, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    I like the way you begin with crusaders on horseback & then find safety within yourself.
    Nice flow of words.

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    I don't always understand your work, Pamela, but it's well worth persevering: I have read this three times, each time taking a little bit more. I certainly appreciate the flow, and the skill with which you have handled such a tricky theme.

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  8. ElizabethFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Pamela, I agree with you that any safety must be found within our own person, it is the only way we can then venture out into the world and perhaps find life.

    Elizabeth

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  9. Wayne PitchkoFebruary 23, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    I really like where you went with this prompt.."stinky" titels can be very good ..as usualy nicely done

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  10. EllaFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    This is powerful, for me.
    I had a disease, that caused me to end up in the ICU, so much of this I can relate to~ Especially the angry hornets! Great write!

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  11. Madeleine Begun KaneFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    I agree. Powerful is the word for it!

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  12. ms pieFebruary 23, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    glad to have stopped by.... enjoyed the process of your poem... it is a wonderful place to be safe....

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  13. Mariya KolevaFebruary 24, 2011 at 3:06 AM

    I love it! I read it several times to take in all. So many aspects and such vivid imagery. Thanks for sharing it with us!
    Mary

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  14. ireneFebruary 24, 2011 at 4:19 AM

    Drawing a circle of safety with yourself..trusting only yourself..you've captured that well.

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  15. UnknownFebruary 24, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    That last stanza speaks volumes! Compelling read to get to it, too.

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  16. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    It is relatable, Dani.

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  17. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    Thanks Marian.

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  18. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    I am glad you persevered, Viv.
    Tricky it was.

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  19. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Elizabeth, that is so very true.

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  20. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    Thanks, Wayne, but it's still a stinky title.

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  21. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    Thanks Madeleine.

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  22. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    Thanks for stopping by ms. pie:)

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  23. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Thanks for the visit, Mary.

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  24. flaubertFebruary 24, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Kim, thanks:)

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  25. flaubertFebruary 25, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    "Equestrian warriors mounted on disease..."

    Man, Pamela, this is great stuff. Don't worry about the title - you'll think of something else before you submit it! In the meantime, that final premise, staying within (or near, in a way) yourself, your own turf, certainly makes sense in light of the images presented. Excellent work. Amy Barlow Liberatore, and here's mine:
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/02/25/safe-havens-wwp/

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  26. RJ ClarkenFebruary 25, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Pamela - your writing is so sumptuous - it is a treat for me to stop by and read your poetry! I loved the line, "...Dangerous …/knowing it’s not safe to/venture far from myself..."

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  27. flaubertFebruary 27, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Thanks Amy.

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  28. flaubertFebruary 27, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    I really appreciate your kind words RJ:)

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  29. neil reidFebruary 27, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    Very nicely done to a challenging prompt Pamela. You done good I think. I really like the sort of laddered form you took with this poem, moving step by step. Creative, yes! I am really pleased when people take on something more difficult and persevere, well, more than only that. Good job (and another title will come when it's ready to, no fret). Thank you for the interesting read Pamela! I'm smiling for your result. ~Neil

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  30. flaubertFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    How nice of you to say, Neil.

    ReplyDelete

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