"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"Truly Asphyxiating" NaPoWriMo #19-color

Feeling you wrap round me, chartreuse
tentacles long, suffocating, pervading,
trying to draw me under chartreuse film,
observing my actions, scrutinizing me
Chartreuse liquid green substance,
your presence is asphyxiating,
nothing pleasurable regarding chartreuse …
you’re like a shroud over my existence,
glib gestures like slime pooling beneath my feet,
chartreuse mist eclipsing my expanse where I breathe
So many other colours in my spectrum …
yet chartreuse lingers for hours


 
Posted by flaubert at 12:33 AM

36 comments:

  1. Stan SkiApril 19, 2011 at 2:25 AM

    Put that way, I'm inclined to agree with your stance on chartreuse...

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  2. Andy SewinaApril 19, 2011 at 3:36 AM

    Love your choice of colour, I had to check google because I always remember Chartreuse as a liquer from when I worked at the Tartan Bar in Jersey.

    Beautifully written Pamela, there's a really liquid feeling to the reading of this poem.

    Andy

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  3. IselfApril 19, 2011 at 3:53 AM

    Very original color pick. I admit that I used to have Chartreuse occasionally way back when. Strong stuff - used to good argument in your poem.

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  4. vivinfranceApril 19, 2011 at 4:24 AM

    Your evocation of colour gave me the shudders! - not because there was anything at all wrong with it as a poem - but because of your association of chartreuse with a smothering presence. I hate that colour anyway.

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  5. Ron.April 19, 2011 at 4:28 AM

    Brave color choice; great delivery.

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  6. AnonymousApril 19, 2011 at 5:02 AM

    I am unfamiliar with chartreuse. Hooray for Google!

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  7. Dave KingApril 19, 2011 at 5:30 AM

    Good use of colour to suggest states of mind.

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  8. MaryApril 19, 2011 at 6:35 AM

    Chartreuse makes me shudder. Even the sound of the word itself evokes the color. Well done, Pam!

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  9. brenda wApril 19, 2011 at 6:48 AM

    Pamela, Your words are lovely even drowning in chartruese slime. :) Well constructed piece, I'm impressed!
    ~Brenda

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  10. lucychiliApril 19, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    yes it feels oppressive!

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  11. MarianneApril 19, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    I love this piece, Pamela! Great color choice; I could almost feel that chartreuse mist swirling around me. This has to be one of my favorites that you've written. Just excellent!!!

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  12. Sherry Blue SkyApril 19, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    It does have a liquid swirly feel - very well done, Pamela. One feels the.....caught-ness......and the smothering, very well.

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  13. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    It's not a colour I'm fond of, Stan.

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  14. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    Ive never had the liquor, Andy, but have seen plenty of the colour in my life.

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  15. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    Thanks iself, it was this or write something about a colour I like:)

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  16. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Me too Viv, it's nauseating.

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  17. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    I suppose it was brave, Ron:)

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  18. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    I'm all too familiar with the colour, Tilly:)

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  19. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    That's what I was trying to convey, Dave.

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  20. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    It is an awful colour, Mary. I have a good friend in the states, who owned a chartreuse blouse and when she wore it, I would cringe.

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  21. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    Well, thank you very much, Brenda.

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  22. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    It's an oppressive colour, Janet.

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  23. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    Really, Marianne? I thought maybe it was a bit too dark, though. Thanks.

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  24. flaubertApril 19, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    I was going for that effect, Sherry. You know like something, that is not easy to get rid of.

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  25. Laurie KolpApril 19, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Pamela- I love the imagery and concise word choice here!

    ~laurie

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  26. Mr. WalkerApril 19, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    "chartreuse mist eclipsing my expanse where I breathe" - that line really gets that asphyxiating feeling. Well done - it's a little unnerving - very effective.

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  27. GloriaApril 19, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    LOL, the word that comes to mind is 'gross' so I'd say you've described it well. It really is a pukey color! ;) Good job with this one!!

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  28. EllaApril 19, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    I love the way your wove it. The idea of it reminds me of algae and how it lingers and grabs hold. You made this color so vibrant n' alive~ Abduction in color, how powerful~ Great Job!

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  29. ElizabethApril 19, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Pamela, each word that you write lifts a bit of that color away from you, lightens the hue, and allows a bit more fresh air. Can you feel it? I can. Love what playing with color can do,

    Elizabeth

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  30. Judy RoneyApril 20, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    I felt myself trying to get a gulp of air as I read your poem. Chartreuse. I won't be looking at it the same way as I have. :)

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  31. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    Thanks Laurie:)

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  32. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    I find the colour unnerving, Mr. Walker.

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  33. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    You got that right, Gloria.

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  34. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    Nice to see you, Ella.

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  35. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    As a matter of fact, I can, Elizabeth.

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  36. flaubertApril 21, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Not a favourite colour of mine, Judy.

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