"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

"Motels made of Feathers" NaPoWriMo #5

A perfect line is drawn
between fine edges with details.
High-rise images are six inch heels
where kittens don’t venture
without boas wrapping around them tightly.
It’s a pump that sucks life from you
as it returns fetid, rancid or abused air.
Spikes lay at your bedpost,
fans are scattered all about
florets burrow holes in your chest cavity,
soaking up time, furnishing blood through crude canals.

I am watching from a distant corner
where feather-foil lays on stilettos,
crushed underfoot and worn into the carpet
with cigarette burns left behind,
like the trash strewn about in your life.
They have taken out all air conditioning units, 
replacing them with old dusty golden coins
to be deposited at a local arcade resting easy …
no-one will ever win a trophy.


Process notes:
Write about feathers and stilettos (but no person can be wearing them).

Before moving South of the Border, I thought that there was no difference between a motel and a hotel, except the latter being fancier and more expensive. So when we stopped to spend the night at a motel in the northern part of Mexico, my husband explained the difference. I am sure the proprietor was grateful for our money, generally the rooms are rented by the hour. This poem came to fruition from that experience, the room though clean and tidy, it had an underlying film that existed, unexplainable, it was simply there.

26 comments:

  1. Lovely description, the process notes put this into perspective for me.I can almost taste the place on this third reading - 'It's a pump that sucks life from you as it returns fetid, rancid or abused air.'

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw this prompt & thought, "Um,no"; but now have read your marvelous response and think, "Ahhhhhh...YES!" well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is powerful writing. I can't say that it is beautiful, because it arouses distinct antipathetic emotions - so, I think you have achieved what you set out to do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Motel, aka short-time hotel - I've heard of them...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Strong images that leave a taste, as you intended.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well written, Pamela. The underlying film is intact. Ew. I love the lines...where kittens don't venture, without boas wrapping around them tightly... Some motel rooms leave us wanting our sleeping bags. ;)
    ~Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  7. Absolutely brilliant, Pamela! Every sentence is seething with strong images! You have so much power in your words!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Powerful, evocative, and extremely visual. Oh Pamela, love the journey you are on. The details here are fantastic, and obviously felt deeply by all. Brava!

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes... energy remains to tell the tale, light or dark.
    Here's mine for today:
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/04/05/like-diamonds/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pamela - what a brilliant, desolate, apt description. In your poem, no one wins a trophy, but your work here would merit one.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pamela, startlingly detailed. The premise as explained afterward was helpful, but the imagery is so vivid, and your use of the word "feather-foil" (I assume the kind from cig packs or chewing gum) was effective. Publish it.
    Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/05/black-history-month/

    ReplyDelete
  12. great write to a seemingly impossible prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The phrase "abused air" keeps calling to me. I just like that image, and I think it is apt for the feeling of this poem as well.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I believe the process notes were essential to explain, Andy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ron, honestly I had no idea I would go in this direction with the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Viv, those motels don't arouse thoughts of beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  17. And not a very good one either, Tilly.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Elizabeth, I feel as if, I may get lost before it is all over.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yes Kim, so very true, energy is always left behind, light or dark.

    ReplyDelete
  20. To rent a motel room by the hour was a foreign concept for me, RJ.

    ReplyDelete
  21. In fact Amy, it is an aquatic plant, it simply seemed to fit, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  22. That was the feeling I got, Mr. Walker.

    ReplyDelete