"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Friday, April 8, 2011

"Windows Change Lives" NaPoWriMo #8 - a broken window

Impact of his fist shattered at the door,
too young to comprehend what was going on,
a locked entrance he couldn’t get through,
fear of being left outside alone

It’s perceivable though I wasn’t there
to witness cut veins pouring their lineage
onto concrete slabs, coagulating at his feet

What lies on the other side,
thinking comfort or love was waiting,
only to be left
disappointed, scared

Stitches, fine filament, stop bleeding, 
wounds heal leaving scars
to build a fortress of splintered slivers,
holding edges delicately together

Nightmares in daytime
Nighttime, it’s impossible to rest 
Inconceivable to tear down
what happened when his fist
went through
the glass


Process notes:
This is a true story about someone close to me.
Posted by flaubert at 12:45 AM

58 comments:

  1. lucychiliApril 8, 2011 at 12:59 AM

    hoping for
    quick healing

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  2. Stan SkiApril 8, 2011 at 1:48 AM

    This is a strong piece - strangely it brings back good, bad and totally comical memories associated with broken glass.

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  3. vivinfranceApril 8, 2011 at 4:06 AM

    I admire all the skill and talent that went into making this poem. I hope the nightmare subsides.

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  4. AnonymousApril 8, 2011 at 4:35 AM

    One of your best, I think.

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  5. Ron.April 8, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    Neither window nor hearts can ever be perfectly repaired. Great writing, this.

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  6. Laurie KolpApril 8, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    Excellent, Pamela... and I agree... one of your best!

    ~laurie

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  7. MarianneApril 8, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    Powerful piece. "Holding edges delicately together" is such a great line ...

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  8. gautami tripathyApril 8, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    Wonderful lines...deep, powerful, profound....

    order of the day

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  9. annell4April 8, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    It seems a scary story? Funny how much our stories were the same, blood, window, stitches, and mending. Well done!

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  10. ElizabethApril 8, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    Understand the nightmare, used to have a few of those kind myself. This is a very powerful piece of writing Pamela, congratulations,

    Elizabeth

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  11. AnonymousApril 8, 2011 at 9:44 AM

    This is a painful work. Well rendered.

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  12. barbaraApril 8, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    The dispassionate, almost clinical language, really amps up the effect. good one.

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  13. RJ ClarkenApril 8, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    Your poem was constructed with great skill, but oh - the pain in those words. What a nightmare, is right.

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  14. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallApril 8, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    heartfelt,

    many story comes from reality...
    well done.

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  15. Mike PatrickApril 8, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    A sad scenario for a frightened child. Nice medical verse, medical background?

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  16. GloriaApril 8, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    A sad, sad story that I hope will eventually have a good resolution. Great write!

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  17. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    Lucy, thanks for saying that.

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  18. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Broken glass can have a comical side to it, Stan, sadly not here.

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  19. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    It has thankfully, Viv.

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  20. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Thanks, Tilly.

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  21. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Not completely, I'm afraid, Ron.

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  22. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Thank you, Laurie.

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  23. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Some edges are held together very delicately, Marianne.

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  24. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Thanks so much, Gautami.

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  25. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    We are on the wavelength, Annell.

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  26. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    Thanks for the compliment, Elizabeth:)

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  27. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    A painful story, hh.

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  28. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    When writing it Barb, I had to view from a different angle, so to speak.

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  29. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    A nightmare for that person, yes, RJ.

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  30. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    Yes, much does come from reality, Jingle.

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  31. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Yes, Mike, two years before deciding I wasn't cut out for it and changed for an art degree.

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  32. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    It was many years ago, Gloria and things have turned out quite well.

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  33. brenda wApril 8, 2011 at 5:46 PM

    Pamela, This is excellent. Scars tell our stories. Thank you for sharing this one, glad things have turned out well. I love "pouring their lineage onto concrete slabs."
    ~Brenda

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  34. Madeleine Begun KaneApril 8, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    Wow! Very powerful and evocative.

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  35. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    They do that, Brenda, thanks.

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  36. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Thanks, Madeleine.

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  37. LindaApril 8, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    A powerful and evocative piece

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  38. Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little PencilApril 8, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    Pamela, I am speechless. This came alive before my eyes. You truly captured the event in all its horror, as well as the emotional aftermath. Brava! Amy
    ...and here is something silly, in case you need a smile:
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/you-said-it/

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  39. ZouxzouxApril 8, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Real experiences make the best poetry. Well done!

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  40. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Thanks Linda:)

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  41. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Oh, Amy, thanks for the smile with your poem.

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  42. flaubertApril 8, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    I suppose they do, zouxzoux. Thanks.

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  43. DJ VorreyerApril 8, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    I liked the "fortress of splintered slivers" very much.

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  44. nanApril 8, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    wow - great, great poem! Would you believe I almost wrote a poem about someone close to me who put his arm through a window in a time of great anxiety and upset? I just couldn't gather it. You did a great job here. I hope it was cathartic.

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  45. Sherry Blue SkyApril 8, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    Strong and heartfelt writing. Well done, Pamela.

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  46. Tumblewords:April 8, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    Powerful piece of writing - vivid imagery!

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  47. Judy RoneyApril 9, 2011 at 7:05 AM

    What a hard hitting piece of work. Your poem brings the event to life but also the impact besides the physical injuries.

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  48. MaryApril 9, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Oh, Pamela. the scene came alive before my eyes. A chilling nightmarish masterpiece. Whew, this piece makes my heart beat fast! I can just feel 'fist through glass.'

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  49. CathyApril 10, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    One very powerful poem!

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  50. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    Thanks DJ:)

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  51. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    It was that, nan.

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  52. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    Thanks my friend Sherry:)

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  53. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    Thanks Susan:)

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  54. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    Appreciated Judy.

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  55. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    Thanks Mary, I have wanted to write about it before, but could never find the correct words.

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  56. flaubertApril 10, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    Thanks Cathy!

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  57. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 9:31 PM

    Did we meet pieces of him in another poem of yours I've read? This was very good...honest and hard hitting.

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  58. flaubertApril 12, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    No, Jeanne, I've never written about him before.

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