"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

"Daylight Enters the Room" NaPoWriMo #6

Patterns outlined in the frame, holding
sight of the world in lightness or obscurity
Brightness seldom enters in this muskiness
Cords are connected reverently or relinquished

Metal’s edge folds in on itself,
sharpness is seamed and vivid
Perpendicular lines cross each other,
concluding to exclude the surrounding world
  
Silver ships get lost in the nighttime,
smooth surface, its tilt moves upward
Vertical is a horizontal, raised as it lowers and looms …
a crone’s eye that peers in between

I believe she’s watching or concealing all I do 
Posted by flaubert at 3:25 AM

28 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 6, 2011 at 3:49 AM

    What an interesting way to look at it. I enjoyed this.

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  2. Ron.April 6, 2011 at 4:40 AM

    I liked all of this sorta minding, especially: "Vertical is a horizontal, raised as it lowers and looms …"

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  3. Ron.April 6, 2011 at 4:42 AM

    I meant: "sorta mind-bending..."

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  4. Stan SkiApril 6, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    That time of day can sometimes have a very sinister edge to it - you picked up on that very well...
    ...although I don't usually stay up that late ;)

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  5. Tim KeenApril 6, 2011 at 6:24 AM

    Good perspective. I love the way you write.


    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

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  6. brenda wApril 6, 2011 at 6:35 AM

    I agree with Ron...sorta mind bending. I really like "concluding to exclude." This piece makes me a bit uncomfortable...a good thing in poetry(I think it's that gol-darned cron).
    ~Brenda

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  7. Mr. WalkerApril 6, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    I don't think I'll look at blinds quite the same way again. My favorite line: "Cords are connected reverently or relinquished".

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  8. ZouxzouxApril 6, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    This has a mystical quality that's very pleasing. Nice work!

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  9. MarianneApril 6, 2011 at 9:44 AM

    Beautifully written, Pamela. I love every line! Your choice of words is perfect and so expressive. "Sharpness is seamed and vivid" is a great image. "Vertical is a horizontal," is another good one!

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  10. Sherry Blue SkyApril 6, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Ooooh, this is spookily wonderful - I love the crone's eye and that she is "watching or concealing all I do". Also love the silver ships that disappear in the night. A wonderful rich poem.

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  11. RJ ClarkenApril 6, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    What a different but really wonderful perspective. I wouldn't have thought this (although I would wish I had!) but you did it brilliantly!

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  12. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    Thanks Tilly.

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  13. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    Writing it proved to be mind-bending, Ron.
    Originally I was writing to a prompt, where we
    were supposed to be cryptic about an inanimate object, so I threw the original away and went my own direction, which proves not to be so cryptic;)

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  14. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    Stan, the problem is I stay up, too late most evenings.

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  15. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Thanks Tim:)

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  16. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Brenda, those crones can be menacing:)

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  17. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Me neither, Mr. Walker.

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  18. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Thanks zouxzoux.

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  19. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Thanks Annell:)

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  20. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    Thanks Marianne, I almost didn't finish this piece, because of the several drafts I went through.

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  21. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    It was not my first intention to be spooky, it just ended up that way, Sherry.

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  22. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    RJ, you are much too kind.

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  23. Andy SewinaApril 6, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    'concluding to exclude the surrounding world'
    Wonderful description!

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  24. Sherry Blue SkyApril 6, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    Came back for another read..........I understand much better this time through. Great writing, Pamela. You rock!

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  25. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    Thanks Andy.

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  26. flaubertApril 6, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    Thanks for coming back, Sherry;)

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  27. Judy RoneyApril 6, 2011 at 9:32 PM

    I read it again just so I could hear the words again. Melodious!

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  28. flaubertApril 7, 2011 at 12:04 PM

    Thank you, Judy.

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