"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

'see you later' we write poems #19 begin with music

I got misty eyes as they said farewell
always goodbye means:
Never to meet again
au revoir, adios, ciao, hasta nunca
As he placed a veil before my eyes
to protect me from the harshness of light
fall into the cavern of impediment
Did you get misty-eyed as well?
it’s so much easier to remove castles
from my eyes while kings and queens
dance a promenade with fancy fans
swaying to the rhythm of a forgotten sound
Silken powdered noses don’t sense treachery
while under the perfect sadness of farewell

30 comments:

  1. Those last two lines are great, Pamela!

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  2. I liked the lines:

    It's so much easier to remove castles
    from my eyes while kings and queens
    dance a promenade with fancy fans.

    An enjoyable read, Pamela.

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  3. "As he placed a veil before my eyes
    to protect me from the harshness of light
    fall into the cavern of impediment"

    I loved the above lines!

    warming up the worms

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  4. Hasta nunca. Until never. Is that a "genuine" Spanish phrase or your construction?

    I believe the lords and ladies in the lace and satin carried scented pomanders against the plague. Treachery is not unlike

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  5. This is so good Pamela, from the first to those beautiful last two lines.

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  6. This line was so evocative:
    swaying to the rhythm of a forgotten sound

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  7. where-ever did you get "cavern of impediment"?

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  8. pwf it is indeed a Spanish phrase but not commonly used. `Hasta jamás` is used more frequently. That means `until never` which indicates you do not wish to see that person ever again! It is very harsh.
    Pamela

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  9. Uma thanks and that is nice of you!
    Pamela

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  10. Barb I don't recall what I had written originally. I would have to go look in my journal but it was cavern of something or another. So, I changed it to impediment and it seemed to work.
    Pamela

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  11. Such complex loveliness to illustrate the finality of farewell. So many beautiful phrases, like 'fall into the cavern of impediment' or to 'remove castles from my eyes'. There is such a wholeness/integrity to this poem. Much appreciated.

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  12. A beautifully written poem, Pamela. So many ways to say farewell.

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  13. I love sad poems. This was sad & beautiful

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  14. Diane yes there are and thanks!
    Pamela

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  15. I could see this as a lavish production on stage as I read it. I really like where this took me.

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  16. Quiet little surprises of word and phrase in your poem here. I like that progression of emotional energy. Rather nice Pamela.

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  17. Thanks Judy and welcome to we write poems!
    Pamela

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  18. Thanks Neil and thanks for visiting!
    Pamela

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  19. This poem is absolutely gorgeous and delicate, like the veil in the fifth line. Yet so much in these few lines...speaking of disappointment, heartbreak, and deception. I like where you went with the prompt this week.

    -Nicole

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  20. nicely done Pam....moves so well to a great ending

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  21. Thanks so much Nicole and I know that song is a happy one, but I found some sadness in it.
    Pamela

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  22. Thanks, my friend Wayne and happy weekend to you and yours!
    Pamela

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