"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Friday, December 10, 2010

red crevasse big tent poetry #32-referential magazine, borrow an idea

Suspended upside down
in the crevice of a red mountain
Seatbelts locked in place
Air bags – imploded
Ribs left bruised and fractured
Engine is still idling
petrol is boiling – boiling in my brain
Escape is never easy – windows won’t work
Brakes gave way
Down the side you went trying to cling on to something – traction
60 metres – upside-down
vexed
Damn windows don’t work
Neither do the brakes
Nothing is functioning right now
A reality becomes unreal
Somewhere in a desert mountain


process notes:
I read the poem and it reminded of an event
Unreality by Elizabeth Langemak

22 comments:

  1. You have painted the event - unspecified - in such language that no notes are needed. Brilliant.

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  2. Pamela - What Viv said!

    That very first line "suspended upside down / in the crevice of a red mountain" so fine. Pulls us right in.

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  3. Thanks Viv and I won't supply any notes either.
    Best left to the imagination.
    Pamela

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  4. Robin,
    Thanks I appreciate that.
    Pamela

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  5. Wow. Intense. Scared. Feeling the scared. Feeling the disbelief. Wow. Lost. for. Words.

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  6. The first line brings my heart to throat and holds it there til the end. Vivid, unsettling and outright frightening. Well done!

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  7. well done
    I was hoping it was one of those insane amusement park events.

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  8. Susan terrifying would be appropriate and quite unsettling. Thanks.
    Pamela

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  9. Barb ever since I have an innate fear of heights.
    Not something I experienced growing up. I used to love roller coasters and that sort of thing. Now I won't go fast in a car. Thanks.
    Pamela

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  10. I feel your fear... that must have been horrible for you.

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  11. fear...who is afraid of fear? ha ha.....anyways nice one Pam...thanks for the read

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  12. Laurie it was absolutely no fun.
    Pamela

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  13. Wayne now I have a terrible fear of heights and people who drive fast. Yikes!
    Cheers to you
    Pamela

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  14. Frightening ride, well written. I'd suggest "Red Crevasse" for a title, or something like that. :-)

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  15. Deb thanks for the suggestion and I thought about using the word crevasse. I am not very good with titles :(
    Pamela

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  16. I like your use of dashes here. Really adds to the tension. Nice work.

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  17. woo - frightening! Great poem.

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