"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Friday, December 10, 2010

red crevasse big tent poetry #32-referential magazine, borrow an idea

Suspended upside down
in the crevice of a red mountain
Seatbelts locked in place
Air bags – imploded
Ribs left bruised and fractured
Engine is still idling
petrol is boiling – boiling in my brain
Escape is never easy – windows won’t work
Brakes gave way
Down the side you went trying to cling on to something – traction
60 metres – upside-down
vexed
Damn windows don’t work
Neither do the brakes
Nothing is functioning right now
A reality becomes unreal
Somewhere in a desert mountain


process notes:
I read the poem and it reminded of an event
Unreality by Elizabeth Langemak
Posted by flaubert at 1:23 AM

22 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 10, 2010 at 8:11 AM

    You have painted the event - unspecified - in such language that no notes are needed. Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  2. RobinDecember 10, 2010 at 11:02 AM

    Pamela - What Viv said!

    That very first line "suspended upside down / in the crevice of a red mountain" so fine. Pulls us right in.

    ReplyDelete
  3. flaubertDecember 10, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    Thanks Viv and I won't supply any notes either.
    Best left to the imagination.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  4. flaubertDecember 10, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    Robin,
    Thanks I appreciate that.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  5. Julie Jordan ScottDecember 10, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Wow. Intense. Scared. Feeling the scared. Feeling the disbelief. Wow. Lost. for. Words.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tumblewords:December 10, 2010 at 2:36 PM

    The first line brings my heart to throat and holds it there til the end. Vivid, unsettling and outright frightening. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  7. barbaraDecember 10, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    well done
    I was hoping it was one of those insane amusement park events.

    ReplyDelete
  8. flaubertDecember 10, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    Julie yes it was.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  9. flaubertDecember 10, 2010 at 4:10 PM

    Susan terrifying would be appropriate and quite unsettling. Thanks.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  10. flaubertDecember 10, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    Barb ever since I have an innate fear of heights.
    Not something I experienced growing up. I used to love roller coasters and that sort of thing. Now I won't go fast in a car. Thanks.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  11. Laurie KolpDecember 10, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    I feel your fear... that must have been horrible for you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wayne PitchkoDecember 10, 2010 at 7:08 PM

    fear...who is afraid of fear? ha ha.....anyways nice one Pam...thanks for the read

    ReplyDelete
  13. marianvDecember 10, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    That is scarey!

    ReplyDelete
  14. flaubertDecember 11, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    Laurie it was absolutely no fun.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  15. flaubertDecember 11, 2010 at 12:54 PM

    Wayne now I have a terrible fear of heights and people who drive fast. Yikes!
    Cheers to you
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  16. flaubertDecember 11, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    It was Marian.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  17. DebDecember 11, 2010 at 8:24 PM

    Frightening ride, well written. I'd suggest "Red Crevasse" for a title, or something like that. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. flaubertDecember 11, 2010 at 10:30 PM

    Deb thanks for the suggestion and I thought about using the word crevasse. I am not very good with titles :(
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  19. KellyDecember 12, 2010 at 9:33 PM

    I like your use of dashes here. Really adds to the tension. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete
  20. flaubertDecember 13, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    Thanks Kelly.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  21. nanDecember 18, 2010 at 8:05 PM

    woo - frightening! Great poem.

    ReplyDelete
  22. flaubertDecember 18, 2010 at 10:11 PM

    thank ya nan:)
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)