The Hudson River has no rural landscape;
as ferries pass you can hear the slurping of
salty water splashing on bows
All chimneys look gigantic as
we eke out phrases,
expecting others to understand …
while brandishing our textured visions
A lift takes you up to a green cinder block loft
with infusions of Matisse paintings hanging on its walls;
colours are filtered in the dim light of this city
There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,
but we don’t know
how to cross it
I have substituted my tranquility for this panorama
I stop to watch the buildings crumble
Posts
Perhaps these were difficult to work with Pamela, but look what you've created! I love this piece, and love that it's set on a river. I could see the afternoon light dancing across Matisse paintings. The ending is strong. That bridge to calmness and buildings crumbling. Well executed wordle!
ReplyDelete~Brenda
Thanks, Brenda. I am not sure why those words made me think of New York, but they did. Maybe I am experiencing a wee bit of melancholy.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite lines were:
ReplyDeleteThere’s a bridge that leads to calmness,
but we don’t know
how to cross it
I think one could expand those wonderful lines into a completely new poem! I love thinking about this bridge.
Mary, I would like to find a way across that bridge myself:) Thanks for your generous comments.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Mary, a bridge to calmness sounds really good right now. I really like what you did with the wordle words, they disappear into the images and flow of the poem itself, and that's good writing. I like the ending, it leaves one with questioning thoughts,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thanks Elizabeth, doesn't that bridge sound perfect?
ReplyDelete'I have substituted my tranquility for this panorama
ReplyDeleteI stop to watch the buildings crumble..'
Perfect ending! The expressions actually put us on spot to see the things you poem about. I love the way you take the challenge to pen the inevitable. Wonderful!
You seem to echo what I wanted to express, transplanted to a real city landscape. I enjoyed this, Pamela.
ReplyDeleteSomehow those last two lines crystallize all that's gone before.
ReplyDeleteThat last line....stopped me short. You are watching something that happens so slowly, and you can see it. Wow! Or is it happening so fast anyone can see it?
ReplyDeleteThanks Fiducia.
ReplyDeleteIrene, don't know why those words brought the city to my attention, especially with the word rural.
ReplyDeleteMaybe so, Dave, thanks.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got to that point, I was thinking of the Twin Towers, Annell.
ReplyDeleteWow, Pamela, this one is powerful, nostalgic and beautiful. I especially love "there's a bridge that leads to calmness but we dont know how to cross it." And a really strong ending. Wow! Good work!
ReplyDeleteExcellent piece Pamela. I love how you build up and then tear down such a vivid scene, the buildings crumbling into that lost sense of calm.
ReplyDeletePam Ma'am,
ReplyDeleteChugging along a river is a better option certainly. One gets uninterrupted visual pleasure unlike on the road. Crumbling buildings of concrete jungles was a contrast to the restoration works on the Statue of Liberty. In late '80s when we cruised along the NY harbour she was shrouded in scaffoldings undergoing a 'facelift' that took many years.
Btw Ma'am, I'm ok. Not around recently owing to some hardware hiccups now restored as well. A lot of catching up to do though.Thanks a lot!
I love that last line, Pamela.
ReplyDeleteI have been amazed at the quality of the wordle poems this week, including yours; it was such a difficult collection but it seems to have brought out the best in everyone.
You've used those tricky wordle words beautifully, Pamela. "There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,
ReplyDeletebut we don’t know how to cross it" is spectacular.
mm gritty industrial
ReplyDeletewell done
Pamela, love this! The stanzas are so well-written. I like how you open with "no rural landscape", as if the speaker has left a rural place for an urban environment, which has art and architecture, but not calmness and tranquility.
ReplyDeleteRichard
I could see the scenes you described, Pamela - and I've never been in a New York City loft. Great use of the wordle words. :)
ReplyDeleteI really like this, especially this part: "There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,
ReplyDeletebut we don’t know
how to cross it"
Last stanza is great. Such a feelings of bittersweetness in the poem
ReplyDeletePamela...nicely done! I like the contrast of imagery with the mention of no rural landscape. My minds eye could see the scene immediately. It's fun to read wordle poems...so many familiar words, but each post tells its own tale. Here's mine: SURRENDER. ~Paula
ReplyDeleteWow, Pamela. This feels very fresh. Great images and powerful, unexpected ending. Like the title too.
ReplyDelete