"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Sunday, May 29, 2011

"Comets' Tails" A Wordling Whirl of Sundays #6- Wallace Stevens

She doesn’t feel when she should,
preferring to sit cross-legged against
winds, watching fire striding strongly
on carefully constructed stone walls

She doesn’t cry when she needs to;
instinctively she’s too afraid of
turning into something dismal …
like fallen leaves crushed underfoot

An inverse border of planets
lines her twilight
She has become a surrogate
in someone else’s play

Posted by flaubert at 2:42 PM

37 comments:

  1. IsabelMay 29, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    artfully written. hope she gets a happy ending in another poem

    ReplyDelete
  2. brenda wMay 29, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    This is darn good writing, Pamela. I love each stanza without favor. There's strength and sadness in your words.
    ~Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  3. annell4May 29, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Yes, well done! I haven't gotten there yet...I'll keep trying....

    ReplyDelete
  4. flaubertMay 29, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    Thanks Isabel. She may or she may not:) I have been feeling a wee bit dark, it has something to do with this inferno I live in. It has been in the high 80's, and this climate is normally rainy and cool. Yuck!

    ReplyDelete
  5. flaubertMay 29, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Thanks Brenda. I know I said this before, but I look forward to writing to your site on Sundays.

    ReplyDelete
  6. flaubertMay 29, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Thanks Annell, I just caught my typo, egads!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. ElizabethMay 29, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    Again, Pamela, your words seem to flow with such ease. Brings a picture of a woman in flowing gown writing at a window with soft gauzy curtains, and a plumed pen in hand. Even when the words take you to uncomfortable places, your images seem to be based in inherent dignity to the characters you create. Really good stuff,

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  8. MaryMay 29, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    I like it, Pamela. (wish we had some of your heat!)

    ReplyDelete
  9. flaubertMay 29, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    For once, I am speechless, Elizabeth:) What a really nice thing to say about my writing. (blushing in Mexico):)

    ReplyDelete
  10. flaubertMay 29, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Thanks Mary. I would gladly send you some of this heat, it is wretched. Now, if I were on the beach, I might feel differently:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. ireneMay 29, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    I think you used the words wonderfully!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Henry ClemmonsMay 29, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    I'ev felt that way too. Great job with the words. I love reading this challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 30, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    Pamela, I had written on Brenda's wordle as well, on a totally different subject. Great set of words, and you used them well. "She doesn't cry when she needs to" is my favorite line from this, as I know a young person who needs to cry but cannot bring herself to do it... thanks so much! I'll post mine tomorrow, but in the meantime...
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/women-woman-2/ Peace, Amy

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousMay 30, 2011 at 2:49 AM

    I love the strong characterization in this poem, Pamela.

    Great closing lines.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dave KingMay 30, 2011 at 5:20 AM

    Clever use of the wordle. I particularly liked the second stanza.

    ReplyDelete
  16. lucychiliMay 30, 2011 at 6:07 AM

    achy sad pam =)

    ReplyDelete
  17. kaykualaMay 30, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    Pamela,
    The wordle, yes, the wordle. It flows naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 30, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    'She has become a surrogate in someone else’s play'...
    How did you even think of ending it like that? Beautiful, great talent you have here!
    Love this challenge and each time as to how you tackle it with the best choice of words..!

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousMay 30, 2011 at 7:55 AM

    There are so many great lines in this, Pamela, that it's hard to pick a favourite, but I think " she’s too afraid of turning into something dismal" says a lot about her/you?

    These wordles of Brenda's are bringing out some exceptional poems.

    ReplyDelete
  20. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    Thanks Irene.

    ReplyDelete
  21. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    Thanks Henry, much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  22. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    I look forward to your poem, Amy.

    ReplyDelete
  23. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    Thanks Tilly.

    ReplyDelete
  24. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    Thanks Dave.

    ReplyDelete
  25. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Life can be sad sometimes, Janet.

    ReplyDelete
  26. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Thanks Hank. You should join us.

    ReplyDelete
  27. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    Fiducia thank you. I liked your granddad poem very much.

    ReplyDelete
  28. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Autobiographical? Not exactly, Viv, but I am sure I could fit in at least one of those character definitions. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Traci BMay 30, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    It's interesting to me how we're all interacting with the wordle this week - how a set of themes is emerging and we're all falling into one or the other without having read each other's pieces(at least in my case) before writing our own.

    Wonderful character study, Pamela! I want to tell your woman to let go and let herself feel something before she turns to stone.

    ReplyDelete
  30. flaubertMay 30, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    I'll be sure to let her know, Traci;)
    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  31. MarianneMay 30, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    Beautifully written and beautiful use of the wordle words, Pamela! Each stanza is perfect and flows effortlessly into the next!

    ReplyDelete
  32. ReneeMay 30, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Nicely done piece, Pamela! To be able to look at oneself as though not oneself, an interesting idea, indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Francis ScudellariMay 31, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    That's a great opening line, and the imagery it takes us through afterward is superb.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Mike PatrickMay 31, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    You threw me a curve on the first line of the last stanza. I thought you would repeat a modification of the first lines of the first stanzas, but your ending kept the dark mood. I really like this.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Mr. WalkerJune 1, 2011 at 12:28 AM

    Pamela, a sad portrait, to not even enjoy play. It's a little dark, but hard to not go there with those wordle words.

    Richard

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJune 2, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    I keep meaning to ask you: is the photo at the top of your blog you? I so hope it is; I always think of you like that.

    ReplyDelete
  37. CathyJune 3, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    As always, beautiful done.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)