"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Life writer's island #7 the gift

If something is given

Then something must be taken

Gesture of abhorrence is

The abuse that forms from within



Remember the day of feeling

Given to extent of capability

Reach the corridor of sensitivity

If something is given



Look deep within your shoes

Feel inside your gloves

Check your pockets carefully

Then something must be taken



A blind man on the street

Looks for sight from a tin cup

Cardboard boxes line the alley

Gesture of abhorrence is



Broken bones and bruised limbs

Crippled and invalid in your mind

Recalling that life is for living

The abuse that forms from within

24 comments:

  1. Wow - you tucked form within your gift. BRAVO! Grewat work, dear Pamela!

    Read my Gift poem here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great structure - We should always be aware that what we give may take something away from the receiver.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Julie
    Thanks and this is my first cascade poem. I have been reading a lot about form and decided to try something new. Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stan
    Thanks I do not use form. And this ended up being a fun exercise for me. So true we should be more aware.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  5. I did enjoy the form of your poem, Pamela. I'm going to have to try a cascade poem too (ala Robert Brewer) just for something different than my usual.

    Your words "If something is given, then something must be taken" give me food for thought tonight.

    http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/gift.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mary
    Thanks and this was an interesting way to write. It is food for thought.
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is powerful and very well structured.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really liked the third stanza, which says to me that a person can always find something to give if he/she reaches! Interesting form.


    http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/06/let-me-speak.html

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anthony
    Thanks for the nice comment!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  10. Diane
    It is all about the give and take in life is it not? Thanks for stopping by!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  11. You have made me remember that I have not written nearly enough poetry lately. You have given/I have taken. Thank you.

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  12. No problem Elizabeth! Thanks
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  13. I haven't tried the four-line stanza cascade yet, Pamela -- I like how you handled that form. Bravo! "Looks for sight from a tin cup" is an amazing way to think of a gift for a blind man.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gracias Linda and this is an interesting form to write! Congrats again!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks whitesnake!
    And thanks for stopping by!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pamela, You are inspiring me. Now I want to try a cascade. This one tumbled down so well. Your poem is intense and interseting. You really have a unique take on this prompt. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Brenda so good to see you!
    yes this an interesting way to write!
    And thanks so much!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you for this: you've sent me off on a treasure hunt. I may be some time...
    ViV

    ReplyDelete
  19. Viv
    Thanks and happy hunting ;)
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nicely written! I enjoyed reading!

    -Weasel

    ReplyDelete
  21. I don't agree with the premise of your opening lines but I like the way you express it.

    http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. Weasel thanks for saying so!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  23. I like your take on giving - and taking. And now I have to try my hand at a cascade poem.

    ReplyDelete