"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Sunday, June 6, 2010

laughter comes from ... we write poems #5 Erasures (found poetry) taken from Pointed Roofs by Dorothy Miller Richardson


high, bright mirrors sweep many faces

scattered and collected misery

nervous thought of dreadful experiences

people running melody

swollen loud, louder movements

elbowed nothing

loud minims till the end

dizzily touch

angry red-hot mass of fire

and the bottle of green Chartreuse

warming people with trembling limbs and burning eyes

fumbled and slurred soundlessly until afresh

too miserable to be nervous

astonished and thrilled

the wall behind . . .

18 comments:

  1. This works so well that I wonder if the words erased were truly needed ! Love this : fumbled and slurred soundlessly

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  2. Love it too, Pamela. Interesting focus on the bottle of Chartreuse and its effect. Well erased! ~Brenda

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  3. Yes, that green chartreuse is strong stuff, Pamela!

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  4. So much energy in this, Pamela! Great word choices!

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  5. You really distilled the text. It seemed very angry to me.

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  6. Linda
    Thanks and I enjoyed this prompt and this form of writing very much!
    Pamela

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  7. Love chartreuse Derrick!
    Pamela

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  8. Thanks for stopping over Footprints!
    Pamela

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  9. Thanks Barb and it did turn out sounding a bit angry.
    Maybe it is a reflection of my sour mood lately ;)Honestly this is an interesting form of writing poetry though!
    Pamela

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  10. wow -- I didn't get anger. I got earthquake or fire or some immediately-after-disaster reaction.

    thanks for playing, Pam!
    :)

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  11. Angie
    This was a lot of fun!Thanks for a great prompt!
    I suppose it does sound like that!
    Pamela

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  12. It's interesting how we all used the same text yet we all definitely inserted our own flavor. This was absolutely a "Pamela poem"! I loved how you got you to shine through so well. Does that make sense?!

    - Dina

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  13. Thanks Dina that is a very nice thing to say!
    yes it does make sense to me but then who knows if that makes sense!;)
    Pamela

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  14. Woot! I love, "people running melody" Wow! This prompt fit you, Pamela. Wonderful the way you ended this, too. Thank you!

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  15. Linda
    Thanks for such a nice comment!
    Pamela

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  16. I pictured a room full of people indulging in the company of the green fairy. Your final result was very descriptive and full of anger, misery, and drunk. Very well done.

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  17. Thanks Nicole!
    So you saw anger too! Oh no! ;)
    Pamela

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