"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Sunday, May 29, 2011

"Comets' Tails" A Wordling Whirl of Sundays #6- Wallace Stevens

She doesn’t feel when she should,
preferring to sit cross-legged against
winds, watching fire striding strongly
on carefully constructed stone walls

She doesn’t cry when she needs to;
instinctively she’s too afraid of
turning into something dismal …
like fallen leaves crushed underfoot

An inverse border of planets
lines her twilight
She has become a surrogate
in someone else’s play

37 comments:

  1. artfully written. hope she gets a happy ending in another poem

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  2. This is darn good writing, Pamela. I love each stanza without favor. There's strength and sadness in your words.
    ~Brenda

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  3. Yes, well done! I haven't gotten there yet...I'll keep trying....

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  4. Thanks Isabel. She may or she may not:) I have been feeling a wee bit dark, it has something to do with this inferno I live in. It has been in the high 80's, and this climate is normally rainy and cool. Yuck!

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  5. Thanks Brenda. I know I said this before, but I look forward to writing to your site on Sundays.

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  6. Thanks Annell, I just caught my typo, egads!!!

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  7. Again, Pamela, your words seem to flow with such ease. Brings a picture of a woman in flowing gown writing at a window with soft gauzy curtains, and a plumed pen in hand. Even when the words take you to uncomfortable places, your images seem to be based in inherent dignity to the characters you create. Really good stuff,

    Elizabeth

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  8. I like it, Pamela. (wish we had some of your heat!)

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  9. For once, I am speechless, Elizabeth:) What a really nice thing to say about my writing. (blushing in Mexico):)

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  10. Thanks Mary. I would gladly send you some of this heat, it is wretched. Now, if I were on the beach, I might feel differently:)

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  11. I think you used the words wonderfully!

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  12. I'ev felt that way too. Great job with the words. I love reading this challenge.

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  13. Pamela, I had written on Brenda's wordle as well, on a totally different subject. Great set of words, and you used them well. "She doesn't cry when she needs to" is my favorite line from this, as I know a young person who needs to cry but cannot bring herself to do it... thanks so much! I'll post mine tomorrow, but in the meantime...
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/women-woman-2/ Peace, Amy

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  14. I love the strong characterization in this poem, Pamela.

    Great closing lines.

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  15. Clever use of the wordle. I particularly liked the second stanza.

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  16. Pamela,
    The wordle, yes, the wordle. It flows naturally.

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  17. 'She has become a surrogate in someone else’s play'...
    How did you even think of ending it like that? Beautiful, great talent you have here!
    Love this challenge and each time as to how you tackle it with the best choice of words..!

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  18. There are so many great lines in this, Pamela, that it's hard to pick a favourite, but I think " she’s too afraid of turning into something dismal" says a lot about her/you?

    These wordles of Brenda's are bringing out some exceptional poems.

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  19. Thanks Henry, much appreciated.

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  20. I look forward to your poem, Amy.

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  21. Life can be sad sometimes, Janet.

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  22. Thanks Hank. You should join us.

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  23. Fiducia thank you. I liked your granddad poem very much.

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  24. Autobiographical? Not exactly, Viv, but I am sure I could fit in at least one of those character definitions. Thanks.

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  25. It's interesting to me how we're all interacting with the wordle this week - how a set of themes is emerging and we're all falling into one or the other without having read each other's pieces(at least in my case) before writing our own.

    Wonderful character study, Pamela! I want to tell your woman to let go and let herself feel something before she turns to stone.

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  26. I'll be sure to let her know, Traci;)
    Thanks.

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  27. Beautifully written and beautiful use of the wordle words, Pamela! Each stanza is perfect and flows effortlessly into the next!

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  28. Nicely done piece, Pamela! To be able to look at oneself as though not oneself, an interesting idea, indeed.

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  29. That's a great opening line, and the imagery it takes us through afterward is superb.

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  30. You threw me a curve on the first line of the last stanza. I thought you would repeat a modification of the first lines of the first stanzas, but your ending kept the dark mood. I really like this.

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  31. Pamela, a sad portrait, to not even enjoy play. It's a little dark, but hard to not go there with those wordle words.

    Richard

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  32. I keep meaning to ask you: is the photo at the top of your blog you? I so hope it is; I always think of you like that.

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  33. As always, beautiful done.

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