Trucks move on asphalt as it melts
under tire movements
Glass glistening,
set in weathered window sills
In her future of
a room filled with silver besoms
Feelings,
allowing one to miss certain bursts of recognition,
not seeing anything;
it’s not here …
like a chorus of
voices that lull you to sleep
following sounds with depth
inside echoes of absolute silence
Nothing is what it was before
Misty drops grab your attention,
drenching clothes
beneath wetness on skin,
clinging for a life of its own
Remembering what to like;
disregarding all else
People drop facial expressions when she passes,
while trying to catch them falling in clusters …
maybe to be contained in an embroidered handbag
under tire movements
Glass glistening,
set in weathered window sills
In her future of
a room filled with silver besoms
Feelings,
allowing one to miss certain bursts of recognition,
not seeing anything;
it’s not here …
like a chorus of
voices that lull you to sleep
following sounds with depth
inside echoes of absolute silence
Nothing is what it was before
Misty drops grab your attention,
drenching clothes
beneath wetness on skin,
clinging for a life of its own
Remembering what to like;
disregarding all else
People drop facial expressions when she passes,
while trying to catch them falling in clusters …
maybe to be contained in an embroidered handbag
*Prompt idea, (which, I am not very good at):
In a week’s time we see many things. So, for this prompt,
write down anything you notice that seems significant to
you, and then compile the information and attempt to write
a poem from what you gathered during the week. I sometimes
do this and end up with interesting results (and other times not).
Intriguing. I shall try it. Though I can't promise that it will make as much sense as yours.
ReplyDeleteA clever prompt and poem. I love this:
ReplyDelete'Remembering what to like'
This is a useful exercise for a writer. We should make this part of our routine. In a week we must miss so many nuggets of possibility. Of course, as I rarely leave my flat [Emily Dickinson syndrome], mine would be a little repetitive!
ReplyDeleteSeveral outstanding lines and images here, Pamela. I love 'in her future of a room.." and "People drop facial expressions..." a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. I had to look up 'besoms' I thought it had something to do with old women. But no, brooms. Thanks for the vocabulary increase. ;_)
ReplyDeleteI like what you did with both the poem and the prompt...what especially grabbed my notice was the change between third and second person, and then back to third by the end of the poem. I do quite a bit of observing of my own, of which the fruits sometimes end up in my poems (everything gets filed in the attic)...but to weave a story out of these is another challenge itself. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete-Nicole
I am gonna try it too..sounds fun...A useful exercise to trigger your imagination, creativity, and vocabulary..You have definitely done an amazing work here..very lifelike!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat prompt, Pamela. This is certainly one I will try, but maybe I'll wait until school is over and summer becomes reality. Your images are vivid. Well constructed piece (as usual). ha!
ReplyDelete~Brenda
Thanks Pamela! Observation is always a good thing, and well worth the reminding here. Very good.
ReplyDeleteLike the prompt, keeping a daily journal has a similar affect. Making notes on a regular basis is, I believe, what fills the writer's satchel and allows him to find the images like the ones you have gathered here. Good prompt, wonderful poem,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
This keeps reverberating in the echo chamber of my mind.
ReplyDelete(Wow, a fellow Tolle fan!)
My comment disappeared again. What am I not doing? Had computer trouble last week but thought it was fixed.
ReplyDeleteO.K. I liked you poem & I like your prompt
You know, reading your prompt, it is a common sense activity for writers, but I don't think many of us do it on a daily basis. I know I don't, and it is good to see the concept put in words. The exercise really lends itself to a stream-of-consciousness type poetry too.
ReplyDeleteobserving...with eyes open or CLOSED...is good for the soul......thanks for this Pam
ReplyDeletePam, I like your prompt and what you did with it. I enjoyed the way all your observations were tied together.
ReplyDeletehi pam
ReplyDeletei like "People drop facial expressions when she passes"
i can picture the exchange. =)
I felt the mood of this poem deeply........and I, too, especially was struck by "people drop facial expressions as she passes." Good one, Pamela!
ReplyDeleteCame back to take another look, Pamela. And your prompt reminds me of what we do on I Saw Sunday, each week. You might be interested. I do mine on the Unraveling site.
ReplyDeletehttp://isawsunday.blogspot.com/
Elizabeth
Great prompt. I will have to try it sometime. I enjoyed the poem a lot. I especially liked:
ReplyDelete'like a chorus of
voices that lull you to sleep
following sounds with depth
inside echoes of absolute silence
Nothing is what it was before.'
A beautifully moody poem - and the prompt seems a mighty challenge indeed.
ReplyDeleteThanks to all for the nice comments.
ReplyDeletePamela, I like this prompt idea. I would want the time to make observations and mull things over. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteRichard
Thanks Richard, yes there is so much around us to observe, and take note of.
ReplyDelete