Perhaps these were difficult to work with Pamela, but look what you've created! I love this piece, and love that it's set on a river. I could see the afternoon light dancing across Matisse paintings. The ending is strong. That bridge to calmness and buildings crumbling. Well executed wordle!~Brenda
Thanks, Brenda. I am not sure why those words made me think of New York, but they did. Maybe I am experiencing a wee bit of melancholy.
My favorite lines were:There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,but we don’t knowhow to cross itI think one could expand those wonderful lines into a completely new poem! I love thinking about this bridge.
Mary, I would like to find a way across that bridge myself:) Thanks for your generous comments.
And I agree with Mary, a bridge to calmness sounds really good right now. I really like what you did with the wordle words, they disappear into the images and flow of the poem itself, and that's good writing. I like the ending, it leaves one with questioning thoughts,Elizabeth
Thanks Elizabeth, doesn't that bridge sound perfect?
'I have substituted my tranquility for this panoramaI stop to watch the buildings crumble..'Perfect ending! The expressions actually put us on spot to see the things you poem about. I love the way you take the challenge to pen the inevitable. Wonderful!
You seem to echo what I wanted to express, transplanted to a real city landscape. I enjoyed this, Pamela.
Somehow those last two lines crystallize all that's gone before.
That last line....stopped me short. You are watching something that happens so slowly, and you can see it. Wow! Or is it happening so fast anyone can see it?
Irene, don't know why those words brought the city to my attention, especially with the word rural.
Maybe so, Dave, thanks.
When I got to that point, I was thinking of the Twin Towers, Annell.
Wow, Pamela, this one is powerful, nostalgic and beautiful. I especially love "there's a bridge that leads to calmness but we dont know how to cross it." And a really strong ending. Wow! Good work!
Excellent piece Pamela. I love how you build up and then tear down such a vivid scene, the buildings crumbling into that lost sense of calm.
Pam Ma'am,Chugging along a river is a better option certainly. One gets uninterrupted visual pleasure unlike on the road. Crumbling buildings of concrete jungles was a contrast to the restoration works on the Statue of Liberty. In late '80s when we cruised along the NY harbour she was shrouded in scaffoldings undergoing a 'facelift' that took many years.Btw Ma'am, I'm ok. Not around recently owing to some hardware hiccups now restored as well. A lot of catching up to do though.Thanks a lot!
I love that last line, Pamela. I have been amazed at the quality of the wordle poems this week, including yours; it was such a difficult collection but it seems to have brought out the best in everyone.
You've used those tricky wordle words beautifully, Pamela. "There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,but we don’t know how to cross it" is spectacular.
mm gritty industrial well done
Pamela, love this! The stanzas are so well-written. I like how you open with "no rural landscape", as if the speaker has left a rural place for an urban environment, which has art and architecture, but not calmness and tranquility.Richard
I could see the scenes you described, Pamela - and I've never been in a New York City loft. Great use of the wordle words. :)
I really like this, especially this part: "There’s a bridge that leads to calmness,but we don’t knowhow to cross it"
Last stanza is great. Such a feelings of bittersweetness in the poem
Pamela...nicely done! I like the contrast of imagery with the mention of no rural landscape. My minds eye could see the scene immediately. It's fun to read wordle poems...so many familiar words, but each post tells its own tale. Here's mine: SURRENDER. ~Paula
Wow, Pamela. This feels very fresh. Great images and powerful, unexpected ending. Like the title too.