"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Sunday, June 6, 2010

laughter comes from ... we write poems #5 Erasures (found poetry) taken from Pointed Roofs by Dorothy Miller Richardson


high, bright mirrors sweep many faces

scattered and collected misery

nervous thought of dreadful experiences

people running melody

swollen loud, louder movements

elbowed nothing

loud minims till the end

dizzily touch

angry red-hot mass of fire

and the bottle of green Chartreuse

warming people with trembling limbs and burning eyes

fumbled and slurred soundlessly until afresh

too miserable to be nervous

astonished and thrilled

the wall behind . . .
Posted by flaubert at 4:48 PM

18 comments:

  1. Linda FrancesJune 9, 2010 at 7:18 AM

    This works so well that I wonder if the words erased were truly needed ! Love this : fumbled and slurred soundlessly

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  2. brenda wJune 9, 2010 at 7:29 AM

    Love it too, Pamela. Interesting focus on the bottle of Chartreuse and its effect. Well erased! ~Brenda

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  3. UnknownJune 9, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    Yes, that green chartreuse is strong stuff, Pamela!

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  4. 1965 FootprintsJune 9, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    So much energy in this, Pamela! Great word choices!

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  5. UnknownJune 9, 2010 at 10:24 AM

    You really distilled the text. It seemed very angry to me.

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  6. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    Linda
    Thanks and I enjoyed this prompt and this form of writing very much!
    Pamela

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  7. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    Thanks Brenda ;)!
    Pamela

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  8. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    Love chartreuse Derrick!
    Pamela

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  9. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    Thanks for stopping over Footprints!
    Pamela

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  10. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    Thanks Barb and it did turn out sounding a bit angry.
    Maybe it is a reflection of my sour mood lately ;)Honestly this is an interesting form of writing poetry though!
    Pamela

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  11. angieJune 9, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    wow -- I didn't get anger. I got earthquake or fire or some immediately-after-disaster reaction.

    thanks for playing, Pam!
    :)

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  12. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    Angie
    This was a lot of fun!Thanks for a great prompt!
    I suppose it does sound like that!
    Pamela

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  13. Dina SpiceJune 9, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    It's interesting how we all used the same text yet we all definitely inserted our own flavor. This was absolutely a "Pamela poem"! I loved how you got you to shine through so well. Does that make sense?!

    - Dina

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  14. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    Thanks Dina that is a very nice thing to say!
    yes it does make sense to me but then who knows if that makes sense!;)
    Pamela

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  15. Linda GoinJune 9, 2010 at 8:18 PM

    Woot! I love, "people running melody" Wow! This prompt fit you, Pamela. Wonderful the way you ended this, too. Thank you!

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  16. flaubertJune 9, 2010 at 8:29 PM

    Linda
    Thanks for such a nice comment!
    Pamela

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  17. Raven's Wing PoetryJune 10, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    I pictured a room full of people indulging in the company of the green fairy. Your final result was very descriptive and full of anger, misery, and drunk. Very well done.

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  18. flaubertJune 10, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    Thanks Nicole!
    So you saw anger too! Oh no! ;)
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete

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