"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Life writer's island #7 the gift

If something is given

Then something must be taken

Gesture of abhorrence is

The abuse that forms from within



Remember the day of feeling

Given to extent of capability

Reach the corridor of sensitivity

If something is given



Look deep within your shoes

Feel inside your gloves

Check your pockets carefully

Then something must be taken



A blind man on the street

Looks for sight from a tin cup

Cardboard boxes line the alley

Gesture of abhorrence is



Broken bones and bruised limbs

Crippled and invalid in your mind

Recalling that life is for living

The abuse that forms from within

25 comments:

  1. Wow - you tucked form within your gift. BRAVO! Grewat work, dear Pamela!

    Read my Gift poem here.

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  2. Great structure - We should always be aware that what we give may take something away from the receiver.

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  3. Julie
    Thanks and this is my first cascade poem. I have been reading a lot about form and decided to try something new. Pamela

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  4. Stan
    Thanks I do not use form. And this ended up being a fun exercise for me. So true we should be more aware.
    Pamela

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  5. I did enjoy the form of your poem, Pamela. I'm going to have to try a cascade poem too (ala Robert Brewer) just for something different than my usual.

    Your words "If something is given, then something must be taken" give me food for thought tonight.

    http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/gift.html

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  6. Mary
    Thanks and this was an interesting way to write. It is food for thought.
    Pamela

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  7. This is powerful and very well structured.

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  8. I really liked the third stanza, which says to me that a person can always find something to give if he/she reaches! Interesting form.


    http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/06/let-me-speak.html

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  9. Anthony
    Thanks for the nice comment!
    Pamela

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  10. Diane
    It is all about the give and take in life is it not? Thanks for stopping by!
    Pamela

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  11. You have made me remember that I have not written nearly enough poetry lately. You have given/I have taken. Thank you.

    Elizabeth

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  12. No problem Elizabeth! Thanks
    Pamela

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  13. I haven't tried the four-line stanza cascade yet, Pamela -- I like how you handled that form. Bravo! "Looks for sight from a tin cup" is an amazing way to think of a gift for a blind man.

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  14. Gracias Linda and this is an interesting form to write! Congrats again!
    Pamela

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  15. Thanks whitesnake!
    And thanks for stopping by!
    Pamela

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  16. Pamela, You are inspiring me. Now I want to try a cascade. This one tumbled down so well. Your poem is intense and interseting. You really have a unique take on this prompt. Well done!

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  17. Oh Brenda so good to see you!
    yes this an interesting way to write!
    And thanks so much!
    Pamela

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  18. Thank you for this: you've sent me off on a treasure hunt. I may be some time...
    ViV

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  19. Viv
    Thanks and happy hunting ;)
    Pamela

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  20. Nicely written! I enjoyed reading!

    -Weasel

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  21. I don't agree with the premise of your opening lines but I like the way you express it.

    http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

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  22. Weasel thanks for saying so!
    Pamela

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  23. I like your take on giving - and taking. And now I have to try my hand at a cascade poem.

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