"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
— Eckhart Tolle

Monday, June 21, 2010

father monday poetry train #85

direct result of breathing

circumstances of death

years of breathing

took his life

father's story

a sympathetic figure

emotional furious spinning

father's death.

so disturbing

he suffered
Posted by flaubert at 11:01 AM

6 comments:

  1. Richard WellsJune 21, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    I'm really intrigued by the compression here - heading toward that precise as geometry ideal. how would you feel about honing it even more?

    ReplyDelete
  2. flaubertJune 21, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    Richard
    Thanks and any advice you give me would be greatly appreciated!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  3. WeaselJune 21, 2010 at 4:03 PM

    Such power in a compressed piece! Nicely written!

    -Weasel

    ReplyDelete
  4. flaubertJune 21, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    Weasel
    Thanks for commenting!
    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dina SpiceJune 22, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    If only we could all lay down and die whilst sleeping peaceful...

    Well-chosen woven words, Pamela.

    - Dina

    ReplyDelete
  6. flaubertJune 22, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    Thanks Dina and that would be the way to go. But it doesnt always happen that way.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete

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