As I sit in my dark vacancy with no
remorse he visits me nightly
to torture me and remind of my
destiny
Engulfed in misery I wait for my
love to return but it never does
The cold air moves me in spasms
I choke as I cough up this putrid
decay I call life and once again he
visits me and calls out the names
of the ones I have lost
My pain is becoming unbearable
as he tortures me deeper
I wait for his return to suffer
I enjoy the visits just the same
He reminds me of where
I’ve been and what is coming
My destiny is in his thoughts
I want the cold air to leave me
brittle and frigid so that I may
shatter in my dark
vacancy with no remorse
Red Wolf Journal Spring 2014, and a fresh start
10 years ago
Posts
Quite frightening. What is the inspiration for it?
ReplyDeletehttp://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
Certainly dark and despairing, Pamela - so, job done! I really like:
ReplyDelete"once again he
visits me and calls out the names
of the ones I have lost"
Tillybud my inspiration came from Edgar Allan Poe. If you think it to be quite frightening then I have succeeded! Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeletePamela
Thanks Derrick! Dark and depairing can work sometimes!
ReplyDeletePamela
Pamela--The ending packs a punch. I love your darker pieces. This one is beautifully put together. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteBrenda thanks for the nice compliment! I really appreciate it!
ReplyDeletePamela
Very well written! Poe got me started in poetry when I was in high school. "A Dream within A Dream" was a very inspiring piece, and still is. Great work!
ReplyDelete-Weasel
Too frightening pour moi. I have never been able to read Poe.I had to leave the movies when I was younger
ReplyDelete( A Superman Movie ) when Lois Lane and Clark Kent were in a helicopter that was teetering off the top of a building.I know...how do I cope with life?..Answer..not very well:)
I kind of related with this..
ReplyDeletecut and dried
Weasel thanks so much!I love Poe and his darkness but then I have always liked being just a little bit frightened!
ReplyDeletePamela
Rall don't be scared! For me there is nothing more frightening than the human race. And that does at times make it hard to cope. So reading something written with darkness and despair is easy to deal with!
ReplyDeletePam
super.
ReplyDeleteI was really snagged by the couplet(?) I wait for his return to suffer/ I enjoy the visits just the same
and it just gets better from there.
Gautami I just read your poem and I can see you do relate to this!
ReplyDeletePamela
Barb thanks for the nice comment and I am not sure is that a couplet(?)
ReplyDeletePamela
I spotted the hand of Poe right away. He's also one of my favorites. Nicely executed.
ReplyDeleteThat really was a chilling piece!
ReplyDeleteGuilt, horrid memories all flashing back .. till a point where it doesn't seem to matter any more..
I really liked the way you've brought it out in your poem.. with feeling!!
Bravo..
Some kind of fear is portrayed beautifully, with an invisible villain who is taunting big time. Enjoyable poetry.
ReplyDeleteThis rings true Pamela, and shows an incredible amount of flexibility on your part. I especially like the ending, starting with the line: "My destiny is in his thoughts..." A startling, but sinister echo. Great response to the prompt.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thanks Francis and I was not certain if most people would!
ReplyDeletePamela
kavisionz thanks so much!
ReplyDeletePamela
Nithin RS
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Pamela
Elizabeth I never thought of myself as flexible but maybe so!
ReplyDeletePamela
Oh and thanks so much Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of Poe AND you. I like the dark, desolate, melancholy in this piece. Well crafted!
ReplyDeleteso dark! and the lines "I choke as I cough up this putrid/ decay I call life"... yikes how evocative. thanks for sharing. hope your nights aren't really like this!
ReplyDeleteSusan what a nice thing to say!
ReplyDeletePamela
Oh, Pamela, this is so chilling...makes my spine tingle. I used to occasionally read Poe, but not in a long time. Perhaps I should again!
ReplyDeletesiubhan thanks and no this is not an autobiography ;)
ReplyDeletePamela
Mary thanks for the comment and yes is a bit scary and that was my inspiration here!
ReplyDeletePamela
like poe, dark but confident. i don't know if that makes sense. but that's what i always got from poe. that things were dreary and frightening and desperate: but at least he was certain about it. didn't hesitate. forward, ho!
ReplyDeletescary...dark....despair....makes for goooooooooood poetry...thanks for this Pam
ReplyDeleteThanks Carolee and happy birthday!
ReplyDeletePamela
thanks Wayne
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Pamela