The beat of the choir; my animals
Are chimpanzees disguised as antelope?
Sabbath feasting shielded by my guards
Crocus slumber through the marsh
Graveyards full of tender salmon
Tough, bilingual, slang, ardent
I answer the call, a message lotus
A robin sings in the robin bush
Are begging aardvarks not to hunt
Aching black sheep say "bah" in foilage
Is "bah" understood in a gazelle's forest?
Cruel drenched by sparse lion's mane
With comprehension cut the air with animals
An Oige
Chuir mi car mun chnoc gu tùrail-
cnoc de chnuic am beanntan Uige
san àit' an d' rinn mo chuimhne dùsgadh;
feasgar Sàbald shìos mun ghàrradh
crìochan saogh'l le òrdugh màthar
'g èisdeachd fuinn nan salm a' teàrnadh
togt' air bilean sluaigh ànirde;
a' call nan cas am measg na luachrach,
cha robh daorach 's cha robh buarach
a' bacadh adhartas na h-uarach
ach bha sìth ann is bha fois ann,
is bha ùrachadh 's gach frois ann;
ceòl is driùchd 's bu lìonmhor spòrsa,
sin cuimhneachan air cuairt na h-òige
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Posts
This poem seems to me part "Peaceable Kingdom," with at least a slight promise that all animals might live in harmony (even if only in dreams). As a strategy of transliteration, I love how you invented a question to switch word groups from end to beginning in these two corresponding lines--
ReplyDeletesan àit' an d' rinn mo chuimhne dùsgadh
Are chimpanzees disguised as antelope?
Fascinating poem....
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the dream-like quality of this. The mind wanders, asking a series of semi-related questions.
Thanks Therese I had a lot of fun with this. My strategy was trying to find something that made some sense. So I had to switch the words sometimes. Again thank you.
ReplyDeletePamela
Hi Pamela,
ReplyDeleteAn inventive transliteration. I particularly like the lines: 'Crocus slumber through the marsh/Graveyards full of tender salmon'.
Clever girl to theme your perceptions. If you can turn a word into anything, why not? My favorite is the robin singing in the robin bush, though I also like the message lotus (what would it have to say?)
ReplyDeleteEnjoyable phrasing and imagery in this piece. A robin sings in the robin bush - but, of course, where else? :) Love it.
ReplyDeleteMark thank you for your nice words. I really enjoyed doing this piece.
ReplyDeletePamela
Derrick thank you I throughly enjoyed doing it.
ReplyDeletePamela
Barbara I am so glad you liked it! Now about the message lotus: It would reveal the many secrets we don't know about in the forest with the animals.
ReplyDeletePamela
Sue I am so happy that you loved it. Thank you.
ReplyDeletePamela
To each and every one of you a great big thank you!
ReplyDeletePamela
WOnderful absurdity here -- I really like the line about chimpanzee disguised as antelope. And your last line is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteNathan thanks so much I am glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this writing exercise.
Hellooooooo Pamela...great poem...love the lines "graveyards full of tender salmon"...sooo good....also "crocus slumber through the marsh" is pretty good also and that is what happens in spring in the marshes at home.....take care and keep writing
ReplyDeleteThanks Wayne haven't heard from you in awhile.
ReplyDeleteThanks I appreciate the critique it
This poem almost reads like a somewhat surreal painting for me, all the animals jumbled together and the unexpected ("chimpanzees disguised as antelope" and "'bah' understood in the gazelle's forest" are a few examples). My favorite line has to be "Graveyards full of tender salmon". Great effort on the prompt this week.
ReplyDelete-Nicole
Thank you very much Nicole. I enjoyed doing the prompt.
ReplyDelete