"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"Truly Asphyxiating" NaPoWriMo #19-color

Feeling you wrap round me, chartreuse
tentacles long, suffocating, pervading,
trying to draw me under chartreuse film,
observing my actions, scrutinizing me
Chartreuse liquid green substance,
your presence is asphyxiating,
nothing pleasurable regarding chartreuse …
you’re like a shroud over my existence,
glib gestures like slime pooling beneath my feet,
chartreuse mist eclipsing my expanse where I breathe
So many other colours in my spectrum …
yet chartreuse lingers for hours


 

36 comments:

  1. Put that way, I'm inclined to agree with your stance on chartreuse...

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  2. Love your choice of colour, I had to check google because I always remember Chartreuse as a liquer from when I worked at the Tartan Bar in Jersey.

    Beautifully written Pamela, there's a really liquid feeling to the reading of this poem.

    Andy

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  3. Very original color pick. I admit that I used to have Chartreuse occasionally way back when. Strong stuff - used to good argument in your poem.

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  4. Your evocation of colour gave me the shudders! - not because there was anything at all wrong with it as a poem - but because of your association of chartreuse with a smothering presence. I hate that colour anyway.

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  5. Brave color choice; great delivery.

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  6. I am unfamiliar with chartreuse. Hooray for Google!

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  7. Good use of colour to suggest states of mind.

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  8. Chartreuse makes me shudder. Even the sound of the word itself evokes the color. Well done, Pam!

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  9. Pamela, Your words are lovely even drowning in chartruese slime. :) Well constructed piece, I'm impressed!
    ~Brenda

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  10. I love this piece, Pamela! Great color choice; I could almost feel that chartreuse mist swirling around me. This has to be one of my favorites that you've written. Just excellent!!!

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  11. It does have a liquid swirly feel - very well done, Pamela. One feels the.....caught-ness......and the smothering, very well.

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  12. It's not a colour I'm fond of, Stan.

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  13. Ive never had the liquor, Andy, but have seen plenty of the colour in my life.

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  14. Thanks iself, it was this or write something about a colour I like:)

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  15. I'm all too familiar with the colour, Tilly:)

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  16. That's what I was trying to convey, Dave.

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  17. It is an awful colour, Mary. I have a good friend in the states, who owned a chartreuse blouse and when she wore it, I would cringe.

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  18. Well, thank you very much, Brenda.

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  19. It's an oppressive colour, Janet.

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  20. Really, Marianne? I thought maybe it was a bit too dark, though. Thanks.

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  21. I was going for that effect, Sherry. You know like something, that is not easy to get rid of.

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  22. Pamela- I love the imagery and concise word choice here!

    ~laurie

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  23. "chartreuse mist eclipsing my expanse where I breathe" - that line really gets that asphyxiating feeling. Well done - it's a little unnerving - very effective.

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  24. LOL, the word that comes to mind is 'gross' so I'd say you've described it well. It really is a pukey color! ;) Good job with this one!!

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  25. I love the way your wove it. The idea of it reminds me of algae and how it lingers and grabs hold. You made this color so vibrant n' alive~ Abduction in color, how powerful~ Great Job!

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  26. Pamela, each word that you write lifts a bit of that color away from you, lightens the hue, and allows a bit more fresh air. Can you feel it? I can. Love what playing with color can do,

    Elizabeth

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  27. I felt myself trying to get a gulp of air as I read your poem. Chartreuse. I won't be looking at it the same way as I have. :)

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  28. I find the colour unnerving, Mr. Walker.

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  29. As a matter of fact, I can, Elizabeth.

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  30. Not a favourite colour of mine, Judy.

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