"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Monday, April 25, 2011

"He Sells Pinwheels" #25-NaPoWriMo-Wordle from Brenda W

He doesn’t have a piquant exterior,
plaid waistcoat hangs on a
diminished frame hiding hideous tattoos
of a life lived on the lam
Mothers in the park squeeze
their children’s hands,
walking a bit quicker while passing him,
trying not to steal a glance
He always feels a sharp stab to his being,
though he tries to pretend it isn’t happening
At the end of the day a cheap bottle of wine
does some quenching and replenishes his nerve
to return to his spot holding pinwheels
in his grey hands … fragile as tissue paper
They call him the Eternal Creep,
 and that is how he spends his days




*these words didn't conjure up the loveliest images for me ... sorry 

18 comments:

  1. Not 'lovely', but vivid, and real...

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  2. I can see this man, feel sorry for him, empathise with him for the fear he invokes in others. The sign of a good poem!

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  3. What a portrait you painted!

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  4. I was wondering how the pinwheels were gonna get in there. Good use of diverse verbiage. Love "the eternal creep." Well done.

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  5. I love 'a life lived on the lam'.

    Cracking last couplet.

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  6. One of your best. I didn't know the word lam. I do now, so thanks for that as well.

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  7. I could have sworn I'd commented on this - it is heart-wrenching. I can empathise with the mothers, but even more with the Creep - destined to be forever misunderstood.

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  8. You have created a vivid picture of the eternal creep, Pam! I can picture him holding pinwheels!

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  9. Pamela, The creep. You've captured him. When he tires of pinwheels, he'll capture someone else. The words took me to a dark place, too. Yet they look so innocuous on their own. :)
    ~Brenda

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  10. Well done ... I tried this and could not do it. I love "holding pinwheels in his grey hands … fragile as tissue paper." You did an amazing job of fitting "tissue" in your poem. That was one challenging word!

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  11. The words seem to have taken a few of us down a dark corridor. You really create the scene well in this piece Pamela. The image of him holding the pinwheels is haunting.

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  12. This made me cry for the tragic man with grey hands. You've painted a magnificent portrait of this pitiful soul. Amazing use of the words, Pamela!

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  13. Taut and powerful - such good images to describe him. Those last two lines are amazing - I love the pun in "Eternal Creep" - how it's both noun and verb. Another great one, Pamela.

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  14. I know that guy!
    But really good poem. I really like the cheap bottle of wine replenishing his nerve.

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  15. I enjoyed your take on the wordle...very fun to see a different picture painted with some of the same words! Well done, Pamela!!

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  16. Pamela, not a pretty picture, but certainly one we can all relate to because we have all, at one time or another, seen him, grabbed our childrens' hands and moved quickly away. You bring him to life and use the words well,

    Elizabeth

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  17. What a wondrous creep....must visit and meet Brenda and " wordle" !

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  18. Thanks to all for the nice comments. I am in a rush today, as well as yesterday.

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