"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

"Daylight Enters the Room" NaPoWriMo #6

Patterns outlined in the frame, holding
sight of the world in lightness or obscurity
Brightness seldom enters in this muskiness
Cords are connected reverently or relinquished

Metal’s edge folds in on itself,
sharpness is seamed and vivid
Perpendicular lines cross each other,
concluding to exclude the surrounding world
  
Silver ships get lost in the nighttime,
smooth surface, its tilt moves upward
Vertical is a horizontal, raised as it lowers and looms …
a crone’s eye that peers in between

I believe she’s watching or concealing all I do 

29 comments:

  1. What an interesting way to look at it. I enjoyed this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I liked all of this sorta minding, especially: "Vertical is a horizontal, raised as it lowers and looms …"

    ReplyDelete
  3. I meant: "sorta mind-bending..."

    ReplyDelete
  4. That time of day can sometimes have a very sinister edge to it - you picked up on that very well...
    ...although I don't usually stay up that late ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good perspective. I love the way you write.


    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with Ron...sorta mind bending. I really like "concluding to exclude." This piece makes me a bit uncomfortable...a good thing in poetry(I think it's that gol-darned cron).
    ~Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't think I'll look at blinds quite the same way again. My favorite line: "Cords are connected reverently or relinquished".

    ReplyDelete
  8. This has a mystical quality that's very pleasing. Nice work!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Beautifully written, Pamela. I love every line! Your choice of words is perfect and so expressive. "Sharpness is seamed and vivid" is a great image. "Vertical is a horizontal," is another good one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ooooh, this is spookily wonderful - I love the crone's eye and that she is "watching or concealing all I do". Also love the silver ships that disappear in the night. A wonderful rich poem.

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a different but really wonderful perspective. I wouldn't have thought this (although I would wish I had!) but you did it brilliantly!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Writing it proved to be mind-bending, Ron.
    Originally I was writing to a prompt, where we
    were supposed to be cryptic about an inanimate object, so I threw the original away and went my own direction, which proves not to be so cryptic;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stan, the problem is I stay up, too late most evenings.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brenda, those crones can be menacing:)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks Marianne, I almost didn't finish this piece, because of the several drafts I went through.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It was not my first intention to be spooky, it just ended up that way, Sherry.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 'concluding to exclude the surrounding world'
    Wonderful description!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Came back for another read..........I understand much better this time through. Great writing, Pamela. You rock!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for coming back, Sherry;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I read it again just so I could hear the words again. Melodious!

    ReplyDelete