"Life is the dancer and you are the dance."
Eckhart Tolle

Friday, January 7, 2011

"tak and nie" big tent poetry #35-a poem with a foot or feet in it

If you lay out the meters
side by side
so we may have feet
I think the moon has died …
Obscurity outlines me
centimeters become meters – the lost moon
Persistence of sounds echo
Never to cast a silhouette
As an overcast sky hides my shadow

34 comments:

  1. Pamela, obscure is the word! I don;t understand the title!

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  2. Hey my feet led me to the moon also. I like the way feet can be read several ways in the 3rd line. There's a sense of creation there. Nice.

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  3. Good one...I especially like "persistence of sounds echo"

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  4. Viv, yes obscure is correct. I had a difficult time with this prompt. Not an easy subject to write about. The title is Polish for yes and no.
    Pamela

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  5. Really like those final three lines. May have been a bit hard to get there, but well worth the journey, Pamela.

    Elizabeth

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  6. Beautiful! Beautiful! Thank you so much for such magical words!

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  7. Interesting - it went somewhere I didn't expect. I like how the feet lead to the moon, but the moon is "lost." Sad.

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  8. Elizabeth that is a huge compliment. I was daunted by this prompt. Maybe trying to hard and finally I just let the words flow.
    Pamela

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  9. Annell thanks and yours was an enjoyable read as well.
    Pamela

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  10. I hate when I lose track of the moon:)
    Thanks for the visit.
    Pamela

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  11. I like obscurity outlining the narrator of the poem.it's like an existential statement of our world where too often people exist isolatedfrom one another.

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  12. Linda, that is very true. As close as we feel to another human, there is essentially a detachment that exists.
    Pamela

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  13. I love the image that we need to lay out the meters to have feet - first it seems nonsensical, but then "have feet" could have two readings. It could refer to movement.

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  14. Thanks for the lesson in Polish! I would never know by your writing this was a tough subject it has such a whimsical feeling I loved it!

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  15. Donna,like Viv said I think this poem is obscure. But part of that comes from me trying to force the prompt. I am fairly satisfied with the outcome.
    Pamela

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  16. Amanda, yeah and I am not Polish. I have been watching "Shoah" for a second time and it is leaving quite an impression on me (again). Watching it later in my life has led me to take a much deeper look at the whole situation. The Polish were very cold and the language is very abrupt. Thanks for the nice comment.
    Pamela

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  17. Pamela, I found the subject an 'easy' one, but I wrote about it so many times this past month that I didn't know if I would find anything else to say. I don't think obscurity outlines you at all, by the way..and I hope the moon NEVER dies. Well written poem!

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  18. Mary, I know where you are coming from. But I was trying to get too literal with it. I approach life pretty much with one foot in front of the other, but I can't say I have always been that way. I also hope the moon never dies.
    Thanks for being here,
    Pamela

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  19. I think the bit about the moon seem to hold the sense. Whimsical write.

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  20. I think this is one of those poems you get (at least in part) before you understand it, which means it's very good.

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  21. Melancholy take on shadows and shadowing. . .

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  22. Irene, I am glad you think so:)
    Pamela

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  23. nan, thanks for the comment.
    Pamela

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  24. Elizabeth, that is a really nice thing to say.
    Pamela

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  25. Gautami, I am happy for that:)
    Pamela

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  26. I like the easy flow between solid and ephemeral, between the real and surreal - nice piece.

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  27. Susan, I really appreciate that.
    Pamela

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  28. Pamela, this has a dream-like quality, clear as an outline and yet hidden. I love the tension that creates.

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  29. Robin, I liked how you used "hands" in your poem.
    Pamela

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  30. To go or not to go, metric or moon, walking hither and thither, yes and no! Reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Lovely.

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  31. Thanks Brenda.
    This prompt made me of the nursery rhyme
    "What is the ugliest part of your body?"
    Though certainly did not go in that direction.

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